sometimes

sometimes, when it's late at night and i'm lying in bed worrying about what tomorrow will bring...i miss
you.

and sometimes, when i'm in a crowded room and my introversion is paralyzing me...i miss you.

and sometimes, when the movie score swells and the lovers reunite in a perfect kiss...i miss you.

and sometimes, when i overhear an amusing conversation and i desperately want someone to laugh about it with...i miss you.

and sometimes, when i awake to the sound of birds singing outside my window and i can't help but smile even before my eyes are opened...i miss you.

i guess what i'm trying to say is...i miss goodbye.

i'd start with "i'm sorry"

things i would tell you, if i could:

1) i'd start with "i'm sorry."

2) because i hate that i hurt you. i hate that we hurt each other.

3) because although i'm sure you've moved on and don't think about it anymore, i'd hate for one of us to be gone tomorrow and for hurt and anger or even complete indifference to have been the last feelings between us.

4) and i'd say it again: "i'm sorry."

5) and that it doesn't matter why it ended. it doesn't matter that i still feel like you don't understand me, just as i'm sure that you probably don't feel like i understood you either.

6) because at one time, we did understand each other.

7) because at one time, we never thought we would ever be the ones to harm the other.

8) because at one time, we only had smiles and laughter and the good kind of cries between us.

9) because at one time, simple apologies were enough.

10) then, i'd end with "i'm sorry." even then, knowing it wasn't enough.