bliss list #2: baking

i love to bake. there's just something beautiful about taking raw ingredients and making something useful.

tonight i made cookies. not just any cookies--my great grandmother's chocolate chip cookie recipe. they are, by far, my favorite.

think about the ingredients...

• flour, salt and baking soda: essential, but no one wants to eat a spoonful alone.
• vanilla, sugar and brown sugar: sweet, but who wants to eat a spoonful of those either?
• eggs: eating them raw could kill you. seriously.
• butter: eating two sticks of that could probably kill you too. over time, at least.
• and then you have the semi-sweet chocolate chips: they certainly don't taste like a chocolate bar. they are far more bitter than sweet.

none of those ingredients alone would taste nearly as delicious as they do when combined to make great grandma's chocolate chip cookies.

i bake to be reminded that i'm not alone, thank God. i bake to remember that i am but one ingredient in the larger mixing bowl of life, and that thankfully i am mixed together with some pretty awesome people. and with them, i'm part of something delicious too.

bliss list #1: the symphony of a storm

i lie down and open up my newest library rental, meg wolitzer's "the interestings". i suppose page one is a good place to start. pete is curled up at my feet and mr. darcy is purring, cuddling my arm. i'm already relishing in the awesomeness of my life when it begins.

there is no warning, no build up, no intro, no climb. the rain simply begins pouring, thumping against the roof in forceful persistence.

the beat is steady. not necessarily fast; it's more than that. fuller. it's constant. not like a heartbeat. more like a line of a thousand little drummer boys, beating to the rhythm of their fears.

i love the sound of rain. it is a tangible reminder that dry grass can be green again, that what once appeared dead can be given life once more. tonight, it is my lullaby.

thirty-one

my birthday surprised me like fireflies littering the sky with bits of light on the first night of summer.

a few weeks ago i felt like august 5th was forever away. a few days ago, i felt like it was probably coming soon. the night of the 4th, nearing midnight, as my roommate ran through the front door exclaiming an enthusiastic "happy birthday!", i found myself surprised.

another year come and gone.

another year of desperately trying to get things right. of trying to treat people with kindness. of trying to show grace and receive mercy. of trying to become a better version of myself.

another year of sometimes failing miserably. of saying or doing the absolutely wrong thing. of losing my temper over stupid milk spills. of clinging to my stubbornness as if being 'right' meant anything at all.

another year of sometimes, just sometimes actually succeeding. of exploring new avenues. of learning new things. of allowing myself to love and be loved.

with my birthday coming as a surprise, there is no list this year. at least, there isn't a list today...

throughout the next year, i'll be creating my bliss list. the list will be comprised of things that bring me joy. because sometimes it's a good practice to silence the chaos for a moment, take a deep breath, and be reminded of all that is good and pure and wonderful in this world.

so, stay tuned, friends, for the bliss list awaits.