pete and i were taking our daily midnight stroll when i looked up and saw the most beautiful full moon. the clouds though, they were moving so quickly that the moonlight was something like a strobe light. with halloween approaching on the calendar my mind instantly went to classic cinematic moments in film when you know that something big is about to happen because the shot focuses on the moon just as clouds cover it in darkness. before i completely creeped myself out by thinking about horror films and halloween ghosts my mind switched gears and landed on a completely different train of thought.
i don't know what is different this year, but i feel like i am working 24/7. i work all day, then i come home and i work on my computer all night into the wee hours of dark. tonight, for example, i finished at 1:20am. with this crazy pace of life, i'm having a hard time keeping focus on the bigger things of life.
chris used to say, "don't get so lost in the urgent that you lose sight of the important." i'm lost in the urgent and i have no map to get out. i can't get past the "have-to"s and the "must-be"s to be able to think about the "want-to"s or the "could-be"s. even as i write, i'm thinking about work - the "want-to"s and "could-be"s for Pfeiffer.
the more important things of life, though, are health, family, friends and faith. and i'm not doing so well in any of those areas. i called my brother and sister-in-law last night and realized that i nearly forgot my niece's birthday next week. i would not have remembered had nicole not mentioned it. i'm trying to get together with friends and the first day i have free is october 30th, and i don't even have the full day. i have work that evening. i have been trying to get back to the gym for weeks, but i can't find time in the day to make it happen. i keep saying, "i'll go tomorrow" but tomorrow never comes.
and then there's my faith. church isn't worship for me right now. i go and i try to center my mind, but i can't help but run through my to-do list over and over again wondering if it will end on time and whether i can get out of the door without being stopped for conversation so i can get back to my office and cross something else off of my list.
work is clouding the Light from shining in my world.
but something big is about to happen.
i don't know what it is yet, but the horror film suspense is killing me.
