Thursday, March 15, 2012

hypocrite

"hypocrite" he said. i felt his eyes on me as he said it. i knew he was talking about me even before my eyes met his, full of justified anger.

we had grown up in the church together, so although we had never been close friends we had known each other for years. we were gathered at the church with other senior high students for a unique bible study setting. having just finished the disciple bible study series, our class was looking for a way to continue the depth of conversation we experienced through the disciple series while exploring other topics.

our fearless adult leaders were absolutely incredible. the bartuneks are wonderful people and led us with this incredible freedom, allowing us to ask questions and be fully ourselves without consequence while simultaneously instilling such wisdom into our young hearts and minds.

when we decided to continue meeting, they created a unique space where we would come together with no agenda, no lesson, nothing. they brought a multitude of tote bags filled to the brim with a variety of translations of the bible, concordances, atlases - all kinds of biblical research resources. each week we came together, brainstormed what topic we would discuss, then hit the books in search of what scripture had to say to our experiences.

to this day, that short-lived bible study has been my favorite small group / sunday school / bible study adventure. i loved the freedom and the study, the mixture of scripture and personal experience, the wonderful people who gathered at the table each week.

i loved that bible study, but man, i hated the week we discussed hypocrites.

i had heard through the grapevine that was the name he was calling me at school, so it shouldn't have shocked me so much when "hypocrite" was the word that came out of his mouth as we brainstormed what would be our topic that evening.

but i was absolutely caught off guard. stunned, actually.

my face burned, my eyes watered, my stomach turned. i wanted to vomit.

...because it was true.
i was a hypocrite.

my best friend and i talked a good talk, but if i was completely honest with myself, i was just as catty and pretentious as the typical high school so-called "mean girl". i wasn't anywhere close to being the most popular girl in school, but that didn't matter. you don't have to be popular to treat others poorly.

to top it off, i was incredibly shy. so when i wasn't ignoring people because i didn't care about them, i was avoiding them because i was afraid of being socially awkward and making a fool of myself. either way, i looked like a snob. (i still struggle with that self-conscious shyness.)

maybe it was just a coincidence. maybe he wasn't really calling me out. it doesn't really matter though, because i needed the smack in the face.

i've spent the last ten years working on becoming the person i was created to be. i've screwed up a lot. my early twenties were full of a poor choices. heck, i was a co-founder of "team bad decisions" in my early charlotte years. and there have been moments when i've fallen back into that former version of myself and it hasn't been pretty.

...i'm going to pause here because i don't want anyone out there thinking that i was out there overdosing on drugs and stealing cars. when comparing my bad decisions with someone like lindsay lohan, well i've always been an angel. the point is, though, that i wasn't called to be lindsay lohan. and i wasn't called to be 22-year-old havaleh havelka forever either. i am called to become someone better than that.

to this day, whenever i see him or i hear the word "hypocrite" i think of that moment in high school and the shame and embarrassment that came along with it.

and when i thought of my lent challenge for this week, i thought of this story and how it has impacted my entire life since. this week i'm supposed to sacrifice what describes me. i've spent the past decade trying to do just that. because once upon a time, the word "hypocrite" described me and every day i get a little bit closer to changing that.

what words describe you? do you take ownership of them? do you take ownership for the values you export through your actions, your decisions, even your language?




Propaganda Solo: Sacrifice What Describes You from World Vision ACT:S on Vimeo.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

sacrifice what describes you





Week Three: Sacrifice What Describes You from World Vision ACT:S



"we've all heard the phrase 'actions speak louder than words', but do we really believe it? ...what choices can we make that showcase the things we're passionate about?" ~ sam

i became a member of my church today. and it was one of the loneliest things i've done in a long while. as i stood in front between an adorable young couple from georgia and a woman who was excited because she had already joined the elderberries, a group for mature single women, well, i couldn't have felt more awkward. am i destined to join the elderberries too?

last week, at the membership class, the director of membership invited all of us to write a few sentences about ourselves for the pastors to read aloud as we are introduced to the congregation. i didn't know what to write. other people in the class wrote about their involvement in their last church or about how they ended up at st. luke's. my past involvement in the church has been that of employment. and not that i want to keep that a secret or anything, but i don't want that to be how i'm known here. i want to create a new church identity for myself.

so, what did i write on the page? "recently moved here from north carolina." yup. that's it.


what describes me? clearly i don't have a clue.

i'm going to have to think about this one some more...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

sacrifice what feeds you


"what feeds you? what nourishes your body and mind? ...reevaluate what you eat and the information you take in in order to expand your world view." ~ sam

i apologize for my lack of writing this week! although i didn't write, i have been keeping up with this week's challenge - to sacrifice what feeds me.

this week, i drank only water in an effort to be reminded of just how privileged i am to have clean water at my disposal. and while i drank water this week, i thought about blood:water mission and the incredible work they are doing.






i thought about how a band partnered with a 21-year-old college student to start an organization with the goal of building 1000 wells in african communities. and i thought, what the heck am i doing?

so i attended the membership class at church. and i inquired about volunteering with the youth group. and i took the first steps to getting in contact with someone at the united methodist publishing house. these are my commitments for lent, and it's time for me to get moving. is it building a well in africa? no. but maybe, just maybe, through my volunteering ro my writing i'll help influence others to learn more about these issues and act on their convictions as well.

i think it's important to note that i screwed up this week. before i even realized what i had done, i finished a soda at lunch on wednesday. that was a harsh reminder for me that ignorance is all too easy to fall into. i couldn't even make it a whole week without forgetting to drink only water. how can i make it a lifetime without forgetting about the causes i believe in? 

that's why this lenten project is so important for me. i need to be reminded. i need to be surrounded by reminders. through the people i call friends, through the furnishings in my home and my office, through the food i eat and the water i drink, through the books i read and the news i watch.




Week Two: Sacrifice What Feeds You from World Vision ACT:S on Vimeo.


Tuesday, March 6, 2012

break my heart for what breaks Yours

i've been invited to deliver the message for the united methodist women (umw) sunday worship service in april. being the daughter of the umw president and the church organist brings it's own challenges, that's for sure. how could i turn down my mother when she asked me to speak a year in advance? and now my father is asking for scripture reading and key messages of the sermon so he can plan the music for the service accordingly.

all that to say, i've been thinking a lot lately about what that sermon will be about. i've been thinking about all of the opportunities i have been given by the united methodist women organization and about the individual united methodist women who have touched my life in such profound ways.

i think about going to summer camp with my friends as a kid and the united methodist women's scholarships to the camping funds, making those camps possible.

i think about the united methodist woman who connected me with the curriculum writing school at the united methodist publishing house when i was in college.

i think about the world health seminar at the church center of the united nations that i attended for free because i worked for one of the thirteen universities founded by united methodist women.

i think about the united methodist woman at the general board of church and society who opened my eyes to the world of social justice and especially to the every day work we can do to eradicate poverty.

i think about that transformational weekend spent in that beautiful building that united methodist women built on capital hill because they knew they had to be IN it in order to change it.

i think about the words written along the ceiling of the main lobby in that building: "and what does the Lord require of you? to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." ~ micah 6:8

which brings me back to last week's challenge.

"what breaks your heart? what makes you want to stand up for what you believe in? and what do you have to see everyday to remind you of what's important?" ~ sam

my challenge was to sacrifice my surroundings in order to remind myself of what i believe in and the causes i hold dear. so, for my home i created these:


and, to remind me why i do the work that i do, for my office i made this:


it all makes me think about a beautiful song by eddie from ohio - walk humbly son:
walk humbly, son
walk humbly now
and cherish every step
for a life well spent
on this earth we're lent

will be marked by the void you have left
 

may you conquer not curse challenges
may you hold back the dark like a dam
may you lead your life with lion's roar
may you leave it like a lamb
don't await rewards for your good deeds
a reward won't make them good
don't await judgment of any foes
they'll receive just what they should
 

when you find the axis of this world
don't tread too far inside
run away as far as you think you can
be well and enjoy the ride
walk humbly, son
and store your pride
when you need strength later on
for your life's work will be judged if earth
is saddened when you have gone
walk humbly, son
walk humbly now
and forget not where you are from
may you go further than those before
and provide for those to come
 

will you walk humbly, son

Monday, February 27, 2012

sacrifice what surrounds you


"what breaks your heart? what makes you want to stand up for what you believe in? and what do you have to see everyday to remind you of what's important?"

i write today from a hotel room in brooklyn. it's too easy for me to say that i've sacrificed a lot of my normal environment over the past few days because i've been living out of a suitcase, but what i'd like to talk about is a different kind of change in my surroundings.

last night, as i rode the train from midtown back to brooklyn i stared through the window at the graffitti on the inner subway tunnel walls as we shot through the earth at nauseating speeds. it made me think about a book i read in middle school about a boy who lived in the subway tunnels, eating from trash cans and collecting dropped pennies to buy necessities. i thought about his nightly battle with rats and the syringes scattered along the tunnel floors. i thought about how the writer described the dance with fear and courage as the subway trains raced by, only inches from the boy's fingers, toes, or face.

around the canal street stop or so, a man stepped onto our car and stood near our little group. he smiled a huge toothless smile and watched my friends talk and laugh and joke together. a few stops later, he exited the train. as he climbed the stairs right outside of my window i watched as his toes peaked through large holes and his socked heels spilled over the back of tennis shoes that were much too small for his feet.

my heart grew weary and it made me think about my life as of late. i am speeding through life focused only on myself. it's easy when you live in suburbia and drive yourself to work each day to forget about anyone other than yourself. it's also fairly easy to research the issues, write letters to congress, volunteer for local organizations or simply spread the word and educate others about the cause.

i haven't yet decided what will change in my apartment and my office when i return home, but for now the change of community is opening my eyes and reminding me on a daily basis of the work left to do for the poor in our neighborhoods. i may not share a subway ride with them in indy but they are there, just the same.




Week One Challenge: Sacrifice What Surrounds You from World Vision ACT:S on Vimeo.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

what are you willing to sacrifice?


here we go, lent 2012. last year i spent 40 days reconnecting with my faith on a deeply spiritual level. each day i wrote prayers, liturgies, letters to God. it's amazing for me to look back through those entries here and to see how much deeper my connection with my Creator was by the end.

this year, i was looking for another meaningful lenton project when i saw one of my favorite artists (scott erikson) tweet about world vision's reLENTless act:s of sacrifice. i immediately signed up. this was a project i could get behind. over the next six weeks i'm going to explore how acts of sacrifice can reorient my everyday life. each week i will receive a challenge to explore this idea of sacrifice in specific areas of my life and to put that thought into creative action.



to begin, why is it important that we think about sacrifice? why should we be sacrificial?
"the short answer...is because Christ did." ~ propaganda.

and how do i define sacrifice? we sacrifice when we give up part of ourselves for someone other or something greater than ourselves. furthermore, it's not just charity. it's not just giving money we won't miss or cleaning my closet of old clothes that don't fit anymore. as jonathan said, "God did not give us hand-me-downs."

so what am i willing to sacrifice this season of lent? my millennial need for accolades and fear of rejection. no, it's not selling everything i own and moving to south america, but it's what i feel God calling me to do and that makes it worthy.

my commitments for the next 6 weeks:
- stick with the act:s project. even if i'm traveling. even if i'm exhausted. especially if it's hard.
- reach out to the united methodist publishing house and inquire about curriculum writing
- officially become a member of my church
- contact the youth pastor and inquire about volunteer opportunities

this may not sound like much to you. for me, though, these are big deal commitments. i've never had the opportunity to be anonymous at a church before. for 8 months i've been attending church without anyone knowing me. growing up, it was (i won't say required...) expected that i attend worship. since college, it has been my job to attend worship. this is the first time in my life that church is an option.

i have to say, it's been nice to go to church without any responsibilities. i can see why it's so easy for so many to fall into that pattern. but my Creator blessed me with experience and education that prepared me to offer something more to the church. i believe that i am sinning by not utilizing my gifts within the church. it will be difficult to get involved in the church. i'm an introvert and i'm shy and I'm somewhat socially awkward. as i meet new people and try out different small groups that fear of rejection will keep my heart pumping, that is for certain. then as i apply to volunteer with the youth programming, i will come face-to-face with a whole host of other challenges.

and then there's reaching out the um publishing house. when i was in college, i dreamed of writing curriculum for the publishing house. i got a job in youth ministry because i felt that it was important to have that experience before writing the curriculum. i stand by that decision, but i also recognize that as the months then years passed i all too quickly let go of the dream of writing. now, here i am today with a full-time job writing curriculum for my Fraternity. it's time that i put myself out there and take the risk to see if that original dream can ever come true.

will this be a sacrifice of my time? yes. but more importantly it will be an offering of the gifts God has granted me.

i don't feel called to move to another country or to found a social justice organization. for a long time i felt guilty about that. i saw college friends move to africa to work at orphanages. i saw others work for organizations building wells in developing countries so they will have clean water. what was i doing and how could it compare?


if i'm honest, the real question i was asking was, "how could i compare?"

i care too much about myself and what people think of me. the terrifying idea of rejection looms too near. i don't contact a publisher because i fear they won't want my book. i don't talk to the man at the market because i fear he'll think i'm weird. i care entirely too much. this lenton season, i'm sacrificing the comfort of my complacent life by taking chances i've been too fearful to risk, in one case for a decade now.

"it's gonna be a challenge, but it will be worth it." ~ sam

if any of this sounds interesting to you, i encourage you to join the challenge. also, check out this bible study resource uc irvine created to use in a weekly small group with students. 

"and so, dear brothers and sisters, i plead with you to give yourselves to God because of all he has done for you. let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. this is truly the way to worship him. don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect" ~ romans 12.1-2

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

what coffee and flowers have in common

this morning, as i poured my second cup of coffee i couldn't help but smile. grandpa always drank coffee when went we went out to eat. it didn't matter what meal it was - breakfast, lunch or dinner - he always ordered a cup of coffee. as waitresses would stop by to check on our table and see if he wanted a refill, he would always say "sure, warm me up". it never made sense to me.

until this morning.

did i need that second cup of coffee? nope. did i even want that second cup of coffee? not really. but the little bit left of my first cup was lukewarm because apparently i wasn't drinking it quickly enough. it needed warmed up.

funny how something so small can completely change your day. all day, i have felt grandpa with me. he was with me in the kitchen at work as i poured that second cup of coffee. he was with me as i ever-so-lightly stroked pete's head as we made our way to ohio. he was with me as i passed grocery stores where men walked to their cars with last minute valentine's day flowers.

ask anyone, and they'll tell you. my memory is missing some vital hardware or something because i can barely remember which fake name i've given the lady at the counter when they call it out loud five minutes later as my sandwich order is filled.

i don't remember much, so most of this story comes from the story i've heard over the years. really, grandma is the one who tells it best, but i'll try my hardest to get it right.

one year, many years ago, i learned that my grandpa had never given my grandma flowers. never. in the decades that they had been married, he had never once shown up at the door with so much as a single flower for her.

grandma says that i was outraged and i told him that it was simply pitiful. (she makes a lot out of quoting me here, when she tells the story. she probably says the word pitiful about seven times before moving on with the story. ...the thing is...pitiful doesn't sound like something i would say. pathetic? sure. but pitiful? i'm not sold. regardless, grandma's storytelling always includes a great emphasis on the word, so i don't question it.)

a little while later, i sent grandma flowers and signed the card "pitiful". (or at least, that's how grandma tells it. again, i don't question her on the facts, but i would imagine the truth is that i mentioned it to mom and dad and they did it all.)

grandma loves this story. you should see how much she smiles and laughs as she tells it.

i love the story too. because if you read between the light-hearted lines, you'll find a beautiful love story.

here was a woman who didn't complain because her husband never bought her flowers. she laughed about it. here was a women who didn't question her marriage or her husband's love because he didn't buy her pretty things or offer her grand gestures. she didn't need flowers to know he loved her.

maybe it's because he never let the love run cold. maybe it's because he was consistently warming it up.

love isn't meant to be a sprint. it's a marathon. and if you're going to make it for the long haul, the relationship is going to need constant care and attention. it's going to need to get warmed up every chance you get.

want another fun story? my dad worked at a flower shop when he and my mother were dating and you know what he used to send my mom? dead flowers. yes, DEAD flowers. clearly the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. (he claims it's because mom would make potpourri out of them. she defends him.)

i may joke, but i pray that i can find a love like that of my parents and my grandparents: the kind that doesn't need flowers. the kind that never gets cold.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

on second thought

first, i saw a facebook post: "no more komen for me!". then, i commenced a google search for articles and found "susan g komen foundation pulls planned parenthood funding".

initial reaction: disappointment.

...but then i got to thinking...

and i thought,
"good for them".

now, let me be clear, i believe in the mission of planned parenthood and remain disappointed that they have lost funding for the tens of thousands of breast exams they perform every year. but i also believe in putting your money where your heart is. and if the board of susan g komen does not believe in the mission and practices of planned parenthood, then i respect them for standing behind what they believe in.

several years ago i quit shopping at hobby lobby after hearing rumors that they donated money to westboro baptist church. however, upon researching the claim, i found no evidence to support it. needless to say, i still don't shop at hobby lobby, but that's simply because i quit being crafty a long time ago.

similarly, i boycotted chick fil a years ago after hearing rumors that they donate money to anti-gay organizations. these claims, unfortunately, are true. they give money to the fellowship of christian athletes, among other similar organizations.

what's wrong with fca, you ask? well, they do a lot of things really well. i love that it is an organization focused on a particular type of student (athletes) bringing faith alive in every facet of their lives, including on the field/court/rink/etc. what i do not agree with, however, is their stance on homosexuality. although you won't see it on their website or spelled out in their creeds, i have seen their leader applications (remember, i used to work in youth and young adult ministry) and it requires leaders to sign that they believe homosexuality is an alternative lifestyle that goes against the christian faith. i simply can't get behind that.

while i can disagree with and be disappointed by these organizations and the things they believe, i have to respect them for truly standing behind those beliefs. isn't that how i live my life? funding the organizations and voting for public servants who will fight for the very issues i believe in?

i also have to believe that we all can change. that individual attitudes and beliefs can change and because of that our organizations, businesses and even societies can change as well.

for example, i spent a lot of energy hating toms shoes since the business was founded. i heard blake speak at a conference and was initially enamored with the idea. "so you're telling me that i can buy a pair of fairly overpriced shoes and you'll deliver a free pair to a child in need in a developing country? that's so easy!"

then reality set in and i realized that it went against everything i had learned about true ethical responsibility. as kelsey timmerman puts it, it goes back to the give a man a fish or teach a man to fish question. here we are giving children shoes, but we aren't solving their economic situation. sure, shoes will get them into school so they can get an education. but kids grow fast. feet grow fast. what will one year of school really do? and what are we doing having shoes made in china then delivering them to developing countries? why aren't we utilizing local businesses and artisans to make the shoes? why aren't we stimulating their economy with good, fair, honest work and wages?

i could go on about this for hours. i've done it before.

but you know what has happened since toms was founded? progress. they are now offering health and education programs and are utilizing some locally made shoes in ethiopia. ...baby steps.

people can change. people can change other people. when people change, so do organizations and businesses and, one day, societies.

i hope all of us will learn from the komen foundation's recent financial decision. i hope that our disappointment will turn to action and that we too will stand up for what we believe in, even if we're standing alone (like the cheesy pre-teen poster said). even if it incites a large portion of the nation against you.

i hope that we will stand up not only by boycotting or criticizing though. i hope that we will support the organizations we believe in with our time and our talents. put your money where your mouth is, people. and if you're looking for a place to start, well, planned parenthood looks like they could use a few donations these days.


**also, i should say that the komen foundation has not come out saying that this was a political move or an ethical decision. so, to claim that they pulled the funding for those reasons is speculation on my part.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

headboard project

several months ago, my place of work went through a BIG move. on the last day of the move, several of us were breaking down a couple cubicles, taking piece by piece out to the dumpster. as i carried a cubicle wall to the dumpster, i had a thought: could i turn this into a huge canvas for a painting above my sofa? i asked my boss what she thought. she thought maybe that could work, but also brought up the idea of using it as a headboard. genius! i somehow fit the wall into my little civic sedan and the wheels started turning.

i stopped at target on the way home for the following items:
  1. twin size foam mattress pad (less expensive and softer than foam from hardware store)
  2. glue that will work with a variety of materials (metal, foam, fabric)
  3. fabric table cloth (less expensive than bolt upholstery fabric)

later i returned for a few more items, because this was definitely a trial and error, learn as you go kind of project:
  1. pre-cut batting for full size quilt (less expensive and easier than purchasing from bolt)
  2. quilting safety pins (they are strong and curved)
  3. fabric-specific glue
  4. bike wall hangers (no clue what they're really called, so we'll go with this!)
so...here is the "before" picture of my guest room: (i know, it's quite sad looking...college bedding, no curtains, a chair for a nightstand...quite sad indeed.)

how did it work? let's go step by step through the process:

  1. remove all outer hardware from the cubicle wall
  2. glue foam mattress topper to front of wall with multi-purpose glue
  3. cover foam with batting, wrapping around all edges and corners
  4. fasten batting with fabric glue and quilting safety pins
  5. cover batting with fabric tablecoth, wrapping around all edges and corners
  6. fasten tablecloth with fabric clue and quilting safety pins
okay, that was the easy part.

i had purchased button kits and made buttons covered with extra fabric pieces cut from the tableloth, but decided not to add them. this decision was made partly because of visual reasons, but mostly because of the inside structure of the cubicle wall. the wall was framed in metal bars including one metal bar connecting the two long sides of the wall. this extra metal bar is located about one third of the way in the middle of the wall. not only was this a hazard in tufting the headboard, but the metal framing would also prove to be an issue when thinking of ways to fasten the headboard to the wall.

here is my genius solution: bike rack screws! they are designed to hold enough weight, and if i put holes in the back of the headboard, then the metal framing can rest on the rack, just like a bike.
  1. find studs
  2. measure desired height, based on headboard ended one inch above the mattress top
  3. measure twice
  4. do it a third time, just for good measure
  5. screw in red rubber ended bike racks
  6. now, center headboard on the wall, simply resting it on the floor (remember, the studs may not be centered on the wall, thus not be centered on the headboard)
  7. determine where the bike racks will go through the back of the headboard
  8. measure for the 4 holes (2 for each 2-pronged rack)
  9. measure and mark again
  10. cut at the 4 marked points through the fabric, the batting, the foam and cubicle fabric and foam just below the metal framing
  11. line the cut areas with fabric glue (this will keep the fabric from fraying)
  12. hang the headboard by lining up the holes with the 2-pronged racks and pushing until the metal frame rests on the racks
it was a lot of work. doing one of the pinterest plywood, hardware store foam, fabric projects would have been MUCH easier, but i ended up with a great headboard and i only spent $55 on EVERYTHING i used.

here is the after photo of the guest room: (pete loves the new look! ...even if the photo isn't good quality)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

response: why i hate religion video

when i left full time professional ministry and jumped into higher education, some people turned their heads. when i left the university and made the move to Fraternity, people really began to question me. how could someone who was once a youth pastor work for social organizations that are known to be killing our college children?

the same reason that i started out in life with a mission to work for a religion that is most publicly known for being insensitive, hypocritical, overly political and homophobic, just to name a few.

a little while back i wrote about the need for fraternities and sororities to fully claim their values, their rituals, the reasons for their founding. to quit complaining about all of the bad press because until the press has nothing bad to say about us we have no right to ask them to stop calling attention to it.

being a follower of Christ is no different.

here's what one man has to say about it:


some are calling it a viral sensation. i call it embarrassing.

unchristian and when bad christians happen to good people are two of my favorite books. i'm used to talking about the failure of the church. i agree with nearly everything this man in the video has to say.

nearly everything.

i don't hate religion.
i refuse to hate it. 
i'm disappointed with it.

sure, we've got our problems. there are those who use God's name in vain. like when they say they'll pray for you, but don't. like when they say "bless her soul" in the most condescending way. like when they picket military funerals with signs misquoting God. like when they wear WWJD bracelets or metal ichthus signs on their cars, but treat others like trash. like when they create cults and lead others astray. like when they only attend church or say "God bless America" as a political ploy.

yes, we have our issues. the church has lost its sight. heck, i don't know that it ever really had it to begin with. remember paul's letters from back in the day? those churches were screwed up too. when the fathers of the church pulled together the books of the bible, i wonder if they included those letters to show us that it's normal to mess up. it's human.

maybe that's why the Creator not only became human, but became spirit as well. maybe that's why the Holy Spirit was given to us when the Son was taken away. to give us a direct line. no church needed.

but we are commanded to live in community with one another. that's why we need the church.

but we have to change it. and you can't change something from the outside. you've got to get inside to shake things up. and as a believer in the Way, the Truth and the Life i continue to work for change. for leading the way in making all peoples truly equal. for diligent work for world peace (and not just the miss america kind). for truly mirroring Christ's work in feeding the poor, clothing the hungry, sheltering the homeless and freeing the imprisoned. this is the business i believe my Maker meant for the church to be about and i hope that one day the church will be known for these things, instead of the characteristics the barna group found.

i also think that it's important to say that we aren't all getting it wrong. some are getting it right. but just like fraternities and sororities, the negative perception won't cease until the negative stories do. all of them. until we change who we are, we will never be seen as the church we were intended to be.