haunted

he was in my dream last night. it's been a year and half and i have never dreamt about it, but there he was.

he was smiling.

i still have a picture of us together. smiling.

i keep the picture, in spite of it all. i don't look at it often, but i can't delete it. it reminds me that no matter how well you think you know someone, in a moment they may completely betray your naive trust. no matter how innocent the smile, you just don't know what is going on behind it.

i talked about him yesterday. maybe that's what triggered the dream. although, i've talked about it many times before. why this time?

i don't remember anything about the dream except his smile. his haunting smile.

i don't remember most of that new year's night. still. some people make them selves sick trying to remember. i just want to forget.

i just want to forget.

will i ever forget?